League of Legends Flame Friday: dear Yasuo players

"Dear feeding idiot, Hey, it’s me again, your least favorite person on the planet. Well, other than your own jungler of course. Yeah, I’m back. Didn’t go anywhere actually. It’s funny how after that last time I came to your lane and burned your flash my “gank” spell didn’t go on cooldown for 45 seconds like you think it’s supposed to. I know it seems unfair that you “always seem to get camped” and “get $%*& junglers” on your team, but I’m feeling generous so I’ll give you a little insight. See, when you dash through those minions all willy-nilly and spam your Q, it kills the enemy minion wave quicker than your minion wave is dying. This means that your minion wave will push towards the enemy’s tower. Now, this means that not only are you a more attractive lane for the enemy jungler to gank, because you’re so far up the lane, but it also makes it difficult for your jungler to come help you. Funny, isn’t it, that we junglers tend to come to lanes where the enemy has to run a further distance to get away to safety? Anyway, this has been super fun – well for me, I know it’s not fun for you based on your comments in all chat. Thank you for that too, by the way. I love knowing which member of the enemy team is the most mentally fragile so I can gank them over and over. Makes my job a lot easier. Well I’m off to–oh look he’s overextended again! Yep, that’s right I’m back! Oh look at how precious he looks, throwing out his Windwall thinking it can block a Xin Zhao W! Thanks for the free LP, sucker. Enemy jungler P.S. If you thought you were getting “camped” because I came mid twice in the span of a minute…brother I hope you brought plenty of fixins to make S’mores because I will sit mid just to show up at the slightest over-extension I see from you. Maybe you’ll rage quit. That would make my weekend."

"Dear Yasuo, How are you doing this? I mean, when I looked up our matchup in the pre-game lobby, I thought I was set. I mean, all the guides say that Urgot dumpsters Yasuo. So how are you winning this matchup? How is a guy, whose OP.GG profile says he has a 43% win rate over 300 games this season on Yasuo outplaying me? How are you dodging every single one of my skill shots? How are you perfectly timing your Windwall to block my ult or that last, fatal Q. You’re supposed to be an absolute ape who shoves into my tower blindly and tries insanely stupid dives. Why aren’t you doing that? Why are you leaving minions strategically during fights so you can get in and then exit after short favorable trades for yourself? Are you a smurf? I’ve seen every Yasuo claim to be a smurf, but are you actually one? Or did you get those fancy scripting programs? Anyway, thank you for making my teammates hate me, as you have now reached 100% crit chance at the 14-minute mark because Riot thought that would be a hilarious passive. It’s a shame I couldn’t stop you during the lane phase, what with your infinite dashes and constantly refilled shield. Oh and I really appreciate you spamming your Mastery 7 every time you kill me under tower and then use your bull$#%& kit to dash a trillion times and escape the three teammates who came to help me. Love, Your lane opponent"

"Dear @$!hole, I see you over there, laughing it up and spamming those emotes. You think you’re so great don’t you? You think you’re a mechanical genius because you get to press one button and one-shot me. Does it feel good, knowing that you’re playing a champion who is so ridiculously unbalanced that you can still instantly kill me – despite being 0/7/2? Does it feel satisfying to do all that damage and wipe three of us off the Rift because the fates smiled on you and you got an Alistar on your team who actually gets these great initiations? Or do you feel dead inside, knowing that you got bailed out of embarrassing yourself because you’re playing a champion that scales regardless of how bad you fed in the early game (even though you’re kind of a lane bully) and you have good teammates? I hope you fall off your bicycle and knock out your two front teeth. Go $&@# yourself, The enemy ADC"

Have a League of Legends champion that you think needs a similar talking to? Let us know who we should write our letters to in a future Flame Friday!