LCS: A Roast of All the Teams of the 2020 LCS Season
By Josh Tyler
With the LCS Season over for the year, it’s time to look back on all the good and (mostly) bad times with our end of the year roast of all the LCS teams!
Let’s start with Immortals, a team that hasn’t been first at anything since Huni and Reignover were actually a duo teams were afraid of. Really not shocked that you guys shipped Zaboutine, Eika, and sOAZ out midway through the Summer Split but that’s what you get for thinking you could trust the French to win at a non-baguette-related activity. The only thing those guys brought to your team was the ability to FF at 15 and trust me they would FF at 10 if they could.
Just like WWII you had to bring in some good ol’ American boys to save them from their own incompetence and failure. I look forward to next year when you decide not to give Insanity a starting spot and instead announce that you’ve signed a Gold III mid laner from EU West because he used to live down the street from Bjergsen’s childhood dentist. Idiots.
Now let’s move on to the true losers of the LCS Season, No Logic Gaming–sorry, Counter Logic Gaming. It’s true, even though Immortals technically finished behind you in the standings this split, they actually won as many games in the Spring Split as your team did in the entire season so you’re the biggest losers of the LCS season.
It’s amazing that you’re owned by the same company that owns the New York Knicks. It’s even more amazing that you are the disappointment of that pairing because the Knicks actually have fans.
I’m not gonna bash you for bringing in Crown because he was a solid player last year and no one could know he implode worse than Daenerys Targaryen over the run of Game of Thrones as fast as…well Daenerys Targaryen did. No, what I will bash you for is your repeated insistence that Ruin, Wiggily, and Stixxay could actually be above-average LCS players. Truly, that is No Logic–gah, Counter Logic I did it again.
And now we get to talk about a team that actually made the playoffs! No, no don’t laugh everyone, Dignitas actually did make the playoffs this year despite being the third-worst team in the LCS. You just don’t remember it because they were only showed up for the required three games, collected their paychecks, and went home, which is true to their form all season.
This team had Froggen and Huni on it to start the year and ended it with Fenix and V1per. And the worst part of it is, I’m not sure you even downgraded in doing so! That’s like buying a Ferrari, finding out the engine is shot, but then someone steals car, leaves you a skateboard, and you’re left saying “well at least I can get to work now.”
They were joined in the “NA Playoffs Participation Trophy Club” by 100 Thieves. PapaSmithy was brought in from Korea to lead this franchise to a new era, but unfortunately, he accidentally left all the good Korean talent behind him.
Instead, we got the Australian version of Damonte in Ry0ma, which means he’s never going to win you games and he takes up an import slot! Meanwhile, Ssumday is up in the top lane out-damaging his mid laner on Ornn of all picks while Cody Sun gets caught and dies…again. Good luck rebuilding guys and I’ll see you in a couple of years for Meteos’s third go-around with this retread team.
Now onto teams that actually accomplished something in the playoffs, we have Evil Geniuses! You guys actually managed to win a playoff series and you took the eventual finalists in FlyQuest to five games in the opening round. God just imagine, if you hadn’t thrown the game at Baron you could have been the ones going to Worlds and not FlyQuest!
Instead, you got the honor of being the second team this year to believe that Goldenglue was the answer in mid lane and also became the second team this year to believe that Huni isn’t a washed-up husk of his former self. Benching your prized offseason acquisition in Jiizuke for those two definitely didn’t bite you in the end. #LIVEEVIL.
And then we have Golden Guardians, who allowed us all to laugh at the crying TSM fans for a glorious week by sweeping them in the first round. Then, in an act of true ball-busting, they took a 2-0 lead on TSM in their lower-bracket rematch and as we were all on the edge of another glorious TSM flameout…you dropped the ball.
Your coaches forgot how to draft, Doublelift remembered that QSS is an item in the game, and at the end of it all you had Bjergsen staring down Damonte like a T-Rex looking at a dodo. Conglaturations, enjoy the reverse sweep.
And now, we get to the last team who just managed to fall short of making it to Worlds. The ones who didn’t even manage to claim Bronze in a marathon made up of exclusively of obese children with arthritic knees…Cloud9? The best team North America had ever seen for three-quarters of the year? How the heck did you not manage to make top three in this godawful region?
Oh, you completely choked in the playoffs and fell to your biggest rivals in TSM? Zven got clocked by his old team, Jack lost to his best frenemy Regi, and all the bandwagon fanboys abandoned you like the Titanic? Well, I know what all your remaining, hardcore fans are going say: bring back Sneaky.