League of Legends Flame Friday: dear Yasuo players

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League of Legends. Photo courtesy of Riot Games. /

In this new edition of Flame Friday, we hear from some League of Legends players as they write to their least-favorite teammate, that Yasuo player.

There may not be a champion in League of Legends that is more toxic than Yasuo. The Unforgiven has a reputation for attracting players with insane mechanics who want to 1v9 carry their games and aren’t afraid to let their teammates know when they’ve gotten in their way.

To appease the mighty Yasuo players, lest they AFK and int our Gold promos, we at Blog of Legends have collected some letters from your peers – sorry, n00b losers – so that they might express their condolences for having failed their mechanical masters and provide some insight into why they did that thing that made you spam “?” pings until you were silenced by the auto chat for spamming. To you, glorious Yasuo mains, I give you these thoughts from the n00bs you always get in your ranked games that throw the game when you were 11/0/3 coming out of lane.

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"Dear Yasuo player, Hi, it’s me, the guy you told to go kill himself and wished his mother would get various forms of incurable diseases. Oh no, don’t bother trying to answer, I instantly muted you after that lovely introduction two minutes into the game when you died to a cheese gank from Twitch jungle. I’m sorry this game isn’t going the way you would like it to, with you dying level 1, teleporting back to lane, and then dying again 1v1 to that “broken BS champion” Maokai. I’m sure Riot will be reworking him after seeing how he killed you with only a level advantage and two and a half creepwaves built up around him. I can see that you’re upset because your opponent got ahead of you and now you’re not able to roll off seven kills in lane and do that thing of one-shotting everyone you see. I know that you think that I, the person who has done nothing to influence your lane in a negative way, need to come to your lane to help you. But it’s not my job to win your lane. I have no incentive to come help a lane who died twice in the span of less than three minutes due to an obvious gank and terrible misplay. I also have no desire to come help a player who, instead of very politely asking for some help because he is worried that he is set too far behind, starts immediately calling me some very bad words and demanding I come help him. I am not coming to help you. I am not coming to help because I know that even if I dig you out of this hole you put yourself into, you’ve already proven to be so mentally fragile that you will likely find some other reason to flame me or AFK. You’ve also proven to have such little understanding of your champion and match-up that you will likely throw away any advantage I might give you. Die ten times, flame me in all chat, ask to “9x” me after the game, I don’t care. I don’t negotiate with terrorists, especially not ones that are likely to accidentally sit on the detonator to the bomb even if I capitulate to their commands anyway. Sincerely, Your jungler"

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