League of Legends: which champion would each member of The Simpsons main?

Tonight The Simpsons airs a new episode based on League of Legends called “E My Sports.” In light of that, we consider which champions Simpsons characters might main.

In truly out-of-left-field news, last week Riot Games announced that the classic television show The Simpsons would be airing an esports episode tonight. The episode was written in consultation with Riot and the game being played is a fictional knock-off called “Conflict of Enemies” based off League of Legends. It’ll even include a voice cameo from Riot’s very own David “Phreak” Turley!

In anticipation of this incredibly important cultural landmark, we decided to do a little hypothesizing to guess what each character from The Simpsons would main if they decided to play League of Legends. Below is a guesstimate of each character’s reaction to discovering their main, so for maximum effect, it’s best read in their voice.

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Homer – Gragas: A big fat slob who carries around a keg all day and drinks from it? Woohoo!

Marge – Annie: *Grumble* I don’t like you playing such violent video games. Oh but this little girl seems sweet! She even has a teddy bear!

Bart – Fizz: Yes I’d like to place a call looking for a Mr. Payne? First name Fizz Cal?

Lisa – Heimderdinger: I love that he wins through his scientific mind, rather than just brute force. Plus, it’s fun to watch people try to fight we as I fire rockets at them.

Maggie – Yasuo: Suck, suck.

Ned Flanders – Zoe: Well hi-diddly-ho Summoner-inos. Oh, hey, if you see that big space doggie, give ‘em a big old hug for me wontcha?

Milhouse Van Houten – Amumu: Awww, I have to play jungle? I feel like you just stick me there so you can just flame me and I’m powerless to stop you.

Nelson Muntz – Riven: Gank for me nerd. Or I’ll bash your face in.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon – Skarner: You will purchase this Slushee sir, or I shall drag you into my team where they will beat you to within an inch of your life. Thank you, come again!

Mr. Burns – Corki: Look at this Smithers, a regular bombardier in this artificial gaming device. Why he’s even flying in the same high-tech airship I piloted back in my forties. Young sir, did you fight in the Great War as part of the “Fightin’ Fifth”?

Waylon Smithers – Taric: I’ll protect you, sir! I’ll always…protect…you (stares at Taric’s champion profile picture).

Krusty the Clown – Shaco: Hey hey kids! You want to see me invade your red buff at level one, ignite you and still get out while your whole team collapses? Wuhahaha! Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have signed over the rights to my likeness to those two nerds.

Moe Syzlak – Kled: I like this little guy. He’s got a very no-nonsense attitude like me. Plus, that little guy he’s riding looks just like the dog my parents locked me in a closet with when I was disobedient.

Lenny Leonard – Rakan: Carl, I’ll never leave you.

Carl Carlson – Xayah: Hey why do I got to be the chick Lenny.

Barney – Gragas: Hey Homer, does this little blob guy look familiar to you? *Burp*

Principal Skinner – Garen: Ah, this young man looks like quite the formidable foe. I hope he doesn’t cut himself with that sword.

Superintendent Chalmers – Lee Sin: Skinner! If you don’t follow on my ganks I will disown you!

Edna Krabappel – Evelynn: Hey there boys, I’m not sure if you noticed me here in the shadows.

Ralph Wiggum – Bard: hehe, I’m the subbort and I’m helping!

Chief Wiggum – Vi: Ralphie, sweetheart, you shouldn’t be ulting the carries when you see me flying at them.

Fat Tony – Sylas: that’s a very nice ultimate you have there Leona. It sure would be unfortunate if someone were to “borrow” it.

Grandpa Simpson – Zilean: Well it was back in my day that we played pick up sticks in the dirt. Then it got to be the point that we would watch other people playing pick up sticks in the dirt, and then we’d see the rats playing pick up sticks. One rat was named Sir Edmund. He won three hundred consecutive games in a row. Even beat Bobby Fischer to win the Battle of Normandy. Now history books will say different…

Dr. Hibbert – Soraka: A banana a day keeps the doctor paid. Hehehe.

Groundskeeper Willie – Kled: Ach if you come through Willie’s land again, I’ll run your guts through me wood chipper!

Martin Prince – Lulu: Behold! A wondrous journey into the land of the Fae! Full of mysticism, magic, and joy!

Kent Brockman – Jayce: Kent Brockman here ready to send my opponents straight to the sky with a shock blast and a cannon to the face.

Sea Captain – Gangplank: Yar, tis a fine plunder this lad acquires.

Comic Book Guy – Mordekaiser: Worst. Champion. Ever.

Reverend Lovejoy – Kayle: And now let us behold this glorious angel who brings her glory and justice down upon us. Much like the real person she was based on, Jesus Christ. Only He scales much harder.

Excited to see The Simpsons take on League of Legends and esports? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

The Simpsons airs at 8 PM EST on Fox.