League of Legends: Top 5 champions who should run for Congress
By Josh Tyler
In honor of learning that Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, aka AOC, plays League of Legends, we decided to give five champions who could also step into the political arena.
Twitter was abuzz yesterday with the revelation that U.S. Representative for New York’s 14th congressional district Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez hit Silver IV just before the end of the ranked season! While the Congresswoman had previously mentioned that she played League of Legends, her Instagram story yesterday and subsequent discussion on Twitter (confirming that fellow representative Josh Harder of Colorado also plays and hit Platinum this year, thus making 80% of the player base with hundreds of games on the season feel way worse than they already did) sparked huge discussion.
In his response, Representative Harder said “Congress might work better if more battles were fought on summoner’s rift instead of committee hearings.” While I 100% agree that this would be far more effective (I would love to see AOC and California Representative Devin Nunes had to 1v1 on Zed with the fate of an appropriations bill on the line and would pass out if the winner stood up and asked for a resolution to declare that match “EZ”), it also got me thinking whether there would be any League of Legends champions that should be in politics. Given the sad state of our current political system, it’s quite clear that there are plenty of champions that should be in Congress (no, not you Yasuo).
With that in mind, here are five champions who would be great members of Congress.
1. Taliyah
Depending on your political leanings, Taliyah is either the one to build a wall or tear walls down. She’s not afraid to mix it up in debates, although the stones that she would cast during floor discussions might be actual rocks.
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2. Jayce
Unlike 90% of all members of Congress, I believe the brilliant inventor from Piltover would not only understand most of the technological issues facing our country, or at the least, he’d know how to open an e-mail without an aide’s help. I know it might bother some hard-liners in both parties that the man has two stances, but in these deeply polarizing times, I think it’s great to have someone who can flip one way or the other on issues.
3. Ivern
I mean, the guy is literally a friend to the forest in an era where climate change is one of the biggest issues facing our country and politicians today. I don’t know how much more concrete of evidence you would need as to the environmental effects humans are having than the guy who can talk to all animals and plants.
4. Soraka
Healthcare is one of the most deeply divisive issues in our political climate right now so why don’t we just solve that problem with someone who can literally heal you to perfect health. Of course, we’re all going to eventually get annoyed with the fact that we can never get drunk and people will be destroying property without fear of death which could cause chaos. But if things get out of hand we can always get some grievous wounds.
5. Amumu
For his entire existence, Amumu has just wanted to have a friend. Given Congress’s low approval rate among American citizens, Amumu would for once be at least as, if not more, popular than a lot of his peers. And, if worst comes to worst, I’m sure there are at least a people in Congress who could use a friend, even if it is a sad mummy (looking right at you Ted Cruz).